Kolton Turns 4!!

When my baby boy came into this world, my life changed forever! Holding my first born child in my arms is like nothing I could have ever imagined. I cannot even remember life before him. Sometimes I wonder if it really even was a life at all or just a small place in time that was leading me to becoming his mother. Watching him grow has brought me the most joy, laughter, frustration, fear, anxiety and every single emotion you can think of. I had never really experienced pain until my baby boy had to go in for surgery at only five weeks old. And I had never experienced love until he was placed on my chest immediately after birth and his crying stopped. He was always meant to be mine and I was always meant to be his mother.

Today, Kolton turns FOUR years old! Even though he will always be my baby boy, he no longer needs to be rocked to sleep in my arms. I remember the feeling of his baby breathe on my chest as he would slowly doze off while holding onto my finger with his entire hand. Now we hold hands like equals when we walk down the street and he is almost able to keep up with me. We have conversations about his favorite toys, colors, shapes and sports. He tells me about what he ate for lunch and who he played with at preschool. He has the most beautiful blue eyes and amazingly long eyelashes and a heart filled with love and wonder. He is very shy but so sweet and kind. Anyone he lets into his circle of love and trust knows just how lucky they are to be around him because he does not give that to just anyone. I am proud to say that I am still the one who gets the most cuddles, giggles and kisses and I know how lucky I am.

I was going through some old photos and keepsakes the other day while doing a little organizing before his birthday presents come, and I came across a letter I wrote to him the night before he was born. I was lucky enough to know when I would meet him since he was breech and had to have a scheduled cesarean section. I sealed it after I wrote it so I could keep it for him and give to him one day on his birthday. I was tempted to open it now since I am feeling very nostalgic with him turning four. I decided to keep it sealed for a while longer and give it to him on a future birthday. I remember writing it. It feels like just yesterday but also a lifetime ago.

This year for Kolton’s birthday, we had a big party with his family and closest friends. Seeing the joy on his face made every minute worth it.

He is such a wonderful big brother to Shayne. I know he will continue to protect her and inspire her. He will do great things in his life and I am so blessed to have been given the opportunity to guide him, love him and help him to be the best he can be.